Bummer

“I study something because I’m interested in it but it’s not the same for u is it? ” This was a question asked to me when i was thinking whether should i take the aptitude and reasoning book with me or not !. So the answer to that question is yes i study to get something out of it not because I’m interested in it …..this is what i do mostly. And now that i think about it this have always been the case and maybe that’s why whenever the exams are over i forget the things i studied so hard. This is a great bummer for me and definitely not a good sign when I’m at the peak of being a student where my job is to learn everything not so that i can survive but to live.

This habit of mine needs to be changed. Like how its a job to wake up my job is to study. Study everyday i wake up. Learn something new just anything. I wish i had that in me by birth, but that’s not the case so. Here we are making a move a hardworker move to live not survive.

Why do you like anime?

for me, it holds a sense of calmness when the character is simply walking past the street or ending up at a new place just by following a cat, these types of movies are also there in Hollywood and Bollywood but, the main focus of these cinemas is how the character develops materialistically and what motivates them to be, but while watching anime I came to realize that the makers of the movie focus more on how the character was inspired in the first place.
The simplicity of animations is that it allows us to draw and withdraw the line of reality, fantasy, and imagination simultaneously.

WE CAN’T BE FRIENDS…

“Thank You, also I’m sorry I can’t accept it. But at least we can be friends. Right?

“No, we can’t be friends.”

“Why?”

“Because it will be painful for me. Too painful to take a step back, it is already “more than friends.”. If I take a step back now and be friends with you it will be too hard for me.

Too painful to commit this new relation where I will cherish, cheer you to be happy, and eventually see you grow with someone else. It will be too painful for me.”

“But eventually these feelings will fade away don’t you think?”

“Yes, the felling will fade. But the memory of love and being stopped by boundaries, the memory of still longing for you. It will stay, stay for forever. These memories will hurt me. So, I can’t, and I don’t want to create the memories of being friends. My memory of being in love with you is the only memory I want to cherish and trust me I like all of it.

This is a way to protect myself.”

A small smile and she left with a little nod saying goodbye.

Am I a writer or what?><?

Disha Swarup

POSITIVELY YOURS

CHAPTER III

After a long workday, at five in the evening she is back from school no-one is at home so, this could be the best time for her kit results, on regular days she would rest for an hour or two but not today. She drops her stuff and heads straight to nearby pharma. As soon as she is back, she heads straight to washroom. Now all she must do is wait for few minutes, but it is so tough. As soon as results are up the two lines literally set her back. She is PREGNANT what! her face is flushed, shocked she is not herself right now.

Suddenly the doors open straight, Sara rushed in without noticing Lily was in there, she was going to get out, but the flushed face of Lily made her ask “Lily are you Ok!”. Lily was trying hard to squeeze the test kit but…, Sara could see the knuckles tuning white she pulled Lily’s hand and it dropped. Sara was quick to pick it up. Now she knows, trying to find a way to calm down her friend even though she is also really confused. They both go to lily’s room. Sara knows about the one-night stand, she was quick to understand the whole situation. But still this all feels too must. It makes her worried about Lily how hard it is for her.

The next day Lily goes to the gynecologists’ for further check-up, Ken and Sara where also there with her. The sudden change of being the center of attraction in the group did not helped her. But they were resistant, and she had no other way than to visit with them.

Lily is inside the doctor clinic, Doc made it clear that she is pregnant, it has been 3week. Doc made a point that it could bring shame to a girl for being pregnant before marriage, if Lily goes for abortion, she should never contact this hospital since its illegal. This statement made Lily furious “How could you assume that I agree that I am not married, but you must also know that its not the only thing that leads to better life of a child, I know I lack, but I also know what I am able to provide. So please hold yourself before you assume something”. And she leaves the clinic now she is waiting for her documents in the lobby.

Waiting in the lobby Lily’s eyes land on a girl that kind off looks like a student of hers, but why is she here at this hour she should be at school right now, she is not alone someone is beside her not looking like a father neither like a boyfriend he looks somewhere in between 30s. Lily find it suspicious otherwise why a student would be with an unknown man at a gynecologists’. She stands up goes straight to the student whispering to her if she is in trouble? because she can help and can call the police as well. Gigi’s(student) expression looks like she has been taken off guard, this makes Lily feel that her instincts were right but soon, Gigi pulls the man behind her and introduces him as her uncle his name is “Ray”, and said she is just here for her regular check-up that is it.

 After seeing that man’s face Lily could not listen anything its like some blur memories are trying to take a form. Ken and Sara follow Lily and witness the whole situation but now it has been two minutes and Lily has been staring at him and the same goes for him. They pull her back to the seats and that’s when Lily breaks her silence, she could recognise who he was, he is the same guy with whom she had her one night, Sara takes a good look at him all she said “He is so handsome. WOW you go girl”, these were exactly the words Lily wasn’t looking for, she doesn’t know why but she is just so afraid, as if someone is going to steal something from her, oh, she is afraid that she might lose her baby to him, she is shaking, she wants to run away. The nurse calls her name to get the sonography of the baby. Listening to these words out loud accidentally she turns her eyes towards Ray, witnessing that he was just looking at her as well this eye contact was more than required for many unasked questions. Ken was quit and he saw Lily’s being uncomfortable and that Ray was looking constantly towards her. Lily got up to take her result, Ken was about to follow her but instead asked Sara to go, Ken walked up to Ray, and Ray stood up as if they both know what the other want.

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POSITIVELY YOURS

Chapter II

Lily is standing at the front gate of the club. Thank god she pulled out the discount tickets from the magazine cause this place looks expensive. She is sitting at a table alone ordered some wine just for herself, all this process was too awkward was her, but it was about to get more awkward cause she needed to find a man to spend the night with. All these actions seemed kind off scripted to her, “but girl you did script it!  when you were …you know!” she got a hold on herself looked upon the bar.

 A well-suited man with sleek hairstyle overall his whole formal look was just Lily’s type. She got up and went right to that person holding up the drink, “it’s a really nice evening, nice to meet new people and nice to enjoy with new people” those were her words which she was practicing since she got here and yes that’s the best she could think of.

It is Sunday afternoon Sara is back from Ken’s place and now it’s time for Lily and Sara to become chit chat buddies, but today is different it’s more like a questionnaire where Sara is going to throw questions and Lily got to answer them. So, it is high school all over again but today instead of listening Lily has to answer to the questions. Sara’s first question “how was it did you liked it? did it hurt?”, reply “it was I don’t know how to describe but it felt like I was hurting but still feeling good idk its embarrassing”.

 “well, you see when a girl enjoys it, she can’t find the right words. So, you did liked it!”.

“yes, I guess”.

“omg I can’t imagine Lily my baby girl is all grown up she had a one-night-stand felt amazing during sex, even with someone whom she doesn’t know OMG”. Sara exclaimed.

The moment she heard “someone whom she doesn’t know”, it made her feel like all her shadows are growing darker. It was just about to feel like a regret, but doorbell rang “it’s Ken” Sara said, her shadow could not take the shape of regret as her eyes saw Ken kissing Sara.

Now, three of them are talking about her night at the club laughing and having fun. Lily realized she must let go whatever it is her anger, her disappointment, or any other feeling, she must move on.

Everything is feels okay, she works, spend time with friends, sometime alone. Her friends are trying to fix her with someone, but she never accepts it as if something is still holding her back

It’s been a month now, since she went to the club, but its also a been a month since her period cycle she doesn’t want to get paranoid, but this coincidence isn’t helping that, this could probably because of the stress but still she needs to confirm it.

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Positively yours

CHAPTER 1

Lily, a 27-year old school teacher. She used to live an average life; working hanging out with friends, until one day. The ideal group of the three friend Ken, Lily and Sara since school. Found a silent bond breakage when Lily was suddenly introduced by the fact that Ken and Sara are dating.

It’s been months since this has started and its been years that Lily has never talked about her true feeling towards Ken being afraid that their friendship would be effected. She should have said it she should have been more vocal about her feeling; she just should have been more selfish. But now the whole picture has taken a big turn she has to swallow every feeling, every discomfort for the sake of Ken’s and Sara’s relation, more like for the sake of remaining friendship among them.

 Sara and Lily are roommates. Lily thinks since Sara is dating Ken so she will probably leave, but Sara has not said a word about it.

Lily is frustrated her whole life she was focused on school and her friends that she does not know how she will deal will this. The only boy she ever had any for feeling she cannot even do anything about it just feels empty… she is struggling to find the balance. She loves her friends but somewhere she just cannot overlook her feeling.

It has been days. But still, it is not the same at least not for her. She wants to escape.

Its weekend she needs to do something for her. For the boy she saved herself is in love she needs to move on. She remembers how she was made fun of when people around her knew that she is a virgin. “Now it’s enough being pity on myself lets live life. Today I will dress up find a handsome man and leave everything behind” Lily told he self in front of the mirror. She didn’t have big plans One-nightstand was all she was thinking about.

She dressed in a black dress with pearls around her wrist and neck. For her pink always stand out more than red. So, a pretty pink lipstick would do, high heels was all she needed, and she was ready to go to the bar/club. As she walked out of the door her eyes meet with Ken he was waiting for Sara. She did not want him to know where she was going. But the fact that he didn’t even bothered to ask hurt her more. They exchanged a glance with smile, and she was off… standing in front of bar.

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